My brothers were busy in school and sports, and my Dad’s work took him around the world. Each of them had interesting experiences that I got to hear about and witness. However, my mom was my first friend, and at the end of her life, she was one of my closest friends. She was there before I went to school, and she was the one who made me snacks after school. And, in spite of tension during my teenage years when my mom could do no right, I eventually came around to like her again. My mom was my first friend, and at the end of her life, she was one of my closest friends.
It’s not a requirement or an assumption that our family members are our friends, but they may be. What we can assume, is that our family has taught us how to create friendships.
I can almost hear my mom on the phone catching up with her friends, chatting with her girlfriends at the beauty shop and she always seemed to know the current events of most of our neighbors. She played Candyland with me, bought me a troll doll, and would not buy me a new pair of Nancy Sinatra Go-Go boots when I lost one at the beach. (I’m still upset about that.) She was a tough love kind of woman – more about getting up, brushing off the dust and carrying on – than hugs, and I eventually appreciated the value of this lesson. Also, I hug MUCH more than my mother ever did which I started doing soon after she died.
Yes, a bit of therapy has helped me to understand and/or accept those traits and characteristics I found hurtful or objectionable. I have profoundly gratitude for the gift of friends. My mom, started as my mother and became my friend. She was the one that first showed me what friendships look like. Friends support and help us in so many different ways and not one of them can fulfill our every need all of the time. Her friends were with her until the end of her life. Her girlfriends became my friends and surrogate moms, and some of their kids, became part of my extended family.
During this week, I am grateful for my best friend, my husband Sam, who celebrates a birthday on Wednesday (“Guess what day it is?”). I’m glad I have a chapter in my book dedicated to friends. And come this Sunday, I am also grateful for learning the significance of friendships – the research supports it as an element for our longevity – thanks to my first friend, my mom.